


What Day Is This?

by orphan_account



Series: Birthdays [1]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-03
Updated: 2010-12-03
Packaged: 2017-10-13 12:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/137342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Happy birthday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Day Is This?

**Author's Note:**

> Exactly what it says on the tin. Conceived, written, and published on 12-3-10.

They were plotting something, Dave just knew it.

Jade had disappeared right after breakfast, claiming vaguely that she had "stuff to do". A few hours later she had come back into the main room to pluck at John and Rose's sleeves. Their frantic three-way whispering match was quickly interrupted by a curious Terezi, who was dragged gleefully into whatever plan they were making. Karkat stuck his nose in, and was shushed before he even started shouting. And so the group grew, slowly, as people left and returned dragging others along.

Dave was wasting time (he certainly had it to waste) drawing up new comics, but every time he so much as turned his head in their direction, he was met with inscrutable looks and complete silence. _You'd think they'd remember that I'm wearing shades,_ he mused.

The group broke up into smaller groups - Jade to the kitchen, Rose to the bedrooms and John down some hallway into the lab proper, each leading a handful of trolls. Eventually it was just Dave and Aradia in the big common room, awkwardly silent.

Dave wasn't sure how to feel about the Maid of Time. Sure, they shared an element, but her robotic chassis reminded him uncomfortably of puppets and mannequins (and Bro, but he really didn't want to think of that right now). The girl was seated stiffly on one end of the couch, eyes dark. For all the world she could have been just an empty shell.

Eventually he couldn't stand it anymore, so he strolled over as casually as he could and flopped down opposite her. "Sooo... you have any idea what that was all about?"

Her eyes blinked on, and she turned smoothly to face him. "That?"

"You know. The big whisper-orgy the rest of them had going on."

She was silent for a moment, then something appeared to click. "0h. Yes, I kn0w what they were talking ab0ut."

More awkward silence. He was really beginning to hate that. "Care to share with the class?"

She turned away. "N0, I d0n't think s0."

He felt like exploding. "What do you mean, 'n0'?! We're the 'of Time's! We're supposed to look out for each other!"

"It w0uldn't hurt y0u t0 figure things 0ut y0urself, y0u kn0w," she intoned stiffly, then softened. The corner of her mouth lifted just a bit in a metallic smile. "Besides. I w0uld like t0 see y0u be surprised by s0mething for 0nce."

"Oh, come ON! Just a hint?"

"N0. Abs0lutely n0t."

"Come on, you have to give me _something._ Anything."

Another long, awkward pause. "Well... y0u sh0uld keep better track 0f y0ur timelines. Perhaps that will be en0ugh 0f a clue." With that, her eyes went dark again, and nothing Dave said or did could get another word out of her.

He flopped back against the couch. He was not pouting, he told himself. Pouting is something only small children, Jade, and Nepeta do. He absently flicked an invisible speck of dust off of his suit. Timelines, eh?

Well, the last major occurrence in the Alpha timeline was Jade's birthday. From Dave's perspective it had been seventeen days since then, but with all the back-loops he'd been making, the actual time elapsed was probably much shorter. He grabbed some paper and a forgotten pen from the table, scribbling and adding and subtracting until-

"Oh _fuck_ no!"

\-----

"What d0 y0u mean, 'oh fuck no!'?" Aradia's face was schooled in the perfect mask of metallic innocence.

"You know damn well what day it is, don't you?" Dave pointed an accusing finger. "You-"

"Perhaps." Her eyes lit with multicolored text, and she stood, grabbing Dave's arm and lifting him as well. "N0w, I think y0u sh0uld find s0mething else t0 d0 f0r a while. G0 f0r a walk. Draw s0me c0mics. D0 anything that d0esn't inv0lve being in this r00m." And with that, she shoved him gently out the door.

"Hey, you can't just kick me out!"

"As a matter 0f fact, I can. G00d aftern00n, Dave." The door slid shut in his face.

He briefly considered banging against it and shouting, but dismissed that thought entirely. He didn't really want to be in there anyway. He wanted to walk. Stretch his legs. Yeah.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and stomped down the hallway. Nope, definitely not pouting at all.

...

"He's g0ne."

"Oh good! These boxes are kinda heavy!"  
"Yeah, my arms are about to fuckin fall off. Wwhy do wwe need these again?"  
"I told you, it's an Earth tradition!"  
"I ap0l0gize. I didn't think it w0uld take s0 l0ng t0 get rid 0f him."  
"If you wish, highb100d, I could carry your bo%es for you."  
"Or II could..."

...

"Sol, wwhy didn't you do that in the first place?!"  
"You diidn't athk."

\-----

There is only so long a teenage boy can wander the halls of a weird alien lab before he gets hungry. Dave was making his way back to where he was pretty sure the kitchens were. He knew he was on the right track when he smelled something burning.

"NO, YOU CANNOT PUT SOPOR IN THE ICING!"  
"Aw, come on, my motherfucker. Just wanna make sure this is the best party ever!"  
"We don't know what sopor does to humans, Gamz33! It could poison him!"  
" _Ssssssssh!_ Shut UP! He's outside!"

The kitchen door opened just a crack, and Jade slipped out, slamming it behind her. "Oh hi Dave what are you doing here!" she said in one breath. Her hair was a mess and there was a smear of white powder on one cheekbone. Her glasses were slightly steamed up.

"Uh..." Dave was at a loss. "Looking for a snack?"

Jade opened the door just wide enough to get one arm through, and felt around for a moment before producing a sandwich. "Here you go enjoy see you later!" She disappeared back into the kitchen before he could get further than "Wait, Jade-"

"Dammit." Not allowed in the kitchen, not allowed in the common room... Dave sighed, pocketed his sandwich, and made for his bedroom. _At least until I'm banned from that, too._

\-----

As he passed Rose's room, he slowed and turned his ear to her door, curious.

"Do You Think This Is Enough Paper?"  
"It should be. If we need more, that's what alchemizing is for."  
"Do you, uh, think he'll like them?"  
"I'm sure )(e will!"  
"1'll go ch3ck with th3 oth3rs, m4ke sure th3y don't h4ve 4ny l4st-m1nut3 4dd1t1ons."

Terezi opened the door and gave a cursory sniff. She stiffened. "Why h3llo D4v3! You'r3 c3rt41nly st4nding r1ght h3r3 outs1de!" she said, too loud. The other voices in the room went silent.

"... Yeah." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Listen, Terezi. The jig is up. Secret's out. I know."

She turned dusky turquoise. "1 most d3f1n1t3ly h4ve 4bsolut3ly no 1dea wh4t you'r3 t4lk1ng 4bout. Th3r3 4r3 no s3cr3ts to b3 known." The blind girl began shuffling sideways. "Now 1f you'll 3xcus3 m3 1 h4v3 som3 pr3ss1ng bus1n3ss to 4tt3nd to." She bolted down the hall and away, nearly smacking Dave in the face with her cane as she went. He turned back to the door just in time to hear the lock click.

 _Thunk._ His head hit the solid steel wall. "Fuck you all very much," he muttered. He turned on his heel, entered his own room, and slammed the door behind him.

\-----

There was a tap on his door. "Dave? Dinner's ready!"

"Go away, Jade. I'm not hungry."

...

"Dave, will you please come out? The girls are getting worried."

"No way in hell, Egbert."

...

"Strider, I will break your door down."

Dave scrambled to his feet and unlatched the door. "What do you want, Lalonde?" She slipped past him. "Sure, you can come in, not like I care about my privacy or personal space or anything." He was seething as he flopped back onto the bed.

She sat beside him. "Why won't you come eat?"

It was exactly the wrong question. "Well, for starters, you and the rest of them are about as subtle as a brick to the face. I get it, it's my birthday, whoop-de-fucking-doo. Everyone wants to have a party. But did anyone ask if I _wanted_ a party? Nope, just jumped in and shoved me around when the last thing I want to do today is celebrate." He sighed, pulling off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "It's just... birthdays are..." he trailed off. Couldn't finish the sentence.

He could almost hear the lightbulb go on in Rose's head. "They're something you used to do with your brother." When he didn't respond, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Oh, Dave..."

He sagged into her hug. "He'd always be home on my birthday, did I ever tell you? Even if he had to fly in on the red-eye that morning. Even if he had to be on the road at midnight that night, he was always there that one day." Something burned behind his eyes. "This year he said he was gonna get me a real good sword, like his, from Japan. But I... I'd give back every sword I ever owned - fight Noir to the death with my bare hands - if I could just see him again." God, it _hurt_ to say this. Hurt to talk about him, even after all these (relative) months. Rose's embrace was warm and strong, and he clung to it like a drowning man to his only hope. "God, I miss him..." he whispered.

Rose stroked his back, gently. "Shh, shh, it's alright, it's okay. I understand. It's a family thing." She pulled back, placing a hand on his cheek and gently wiping his tears. Her eyes were very bright, and she was smiling gently. "But your family's a little bigger these days, and they're all waiting for you to come celebrate."

There was a pause. "That was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard you say. What, did you get that out of one of John's movies or something?"

She laughed. "It worked, didn't it?" She took his hand, and they stood. "Come on, let's get down there."

He trailed after her, out of the room and down the hall. Just before the last turn, he stopped. "Should I act surprised?"

"They'll be crushed if you don't," she replied with the sternest face she could manage.

"Okay, here goes." He turned the corner.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE!"

**Author's Note:**

> I can't write anything without adding a heaping helping of Bro-angst anymore.


End file.
